Robin Williams

As I lie here in bed just before im going to drift of to sleep I check my twitter news feed. The tragic news of Robin Williams was broke last night and for the past 24 hours I can't bring myself to read any of the tributes that had been put out for him other than my own. Well now I face it. I cry...im crying now.
 Why? I did not know this man personally and I have never cried at the death of another celebrity before. Well there are a few reasons I believe.
For many of us Robin Williams was a boloved childhood fixture. We grew up with him make us laugh and bringing us joy. He taught me what it was to be funny and to this day its the thing I strive for the most. To make people laugh like he could, to have people embrace you whole heartedly the way he could. To have people hang of his every word, and making every individual feel special even though he was reaching an audience of millions. Robin Williams was not someone I just looked up to but he was someone whos brought an remarkable light to this world and someone who I strived to be. He is the reason I wanted to be funny over everything else. I felt like I knew that incredible man even though he'd inly ever been on my screen. It takes a special kind of person to connect to people the way he could.

The other reason ive recognised as to why im so desperatly sad as to the death of Robin Williams is how he passed.

Its the strangest thing to me that someone with such a bright light can have places with in them that are so dark. But yet personally knowing and understanding the struggles that Robin must have been going through to commit such an act it didnt come as much of a shock as it should. Sometimes we find those laughing the loudest are those that have the most to hide. Depression is not something we should be taking lightly and suffering with it myself it deeply saddens me that it took the death of such a beloved icon for depression to become a publicly discussed topic rather than some fletting story in the newspapers. Depression knows no bounds and it can touch anyone.

Robins death was not something I expected to take so hard, and I can't begin to imagine what his family and loved ones must be going through if I just a simple fan feel this much greife. My love and prayers go out to them.

I wanted to say so much more but the ability to put into words how this man has touched my life and the life of so many others,and the gaping whole he leaves behind eludes me. I think ill leave with this quote I read today that seems fitting "Just because you're struggling, doesn't mean you're failing"

R.I.P Robin Williams -gone but most certainly not forgotten

Getting started

In life often the hardest step is the first one.

I really resinate with this at the moment, and for a mixture of reasons.

First of my anxiety.

My fear of faluire stops me In any persute to make life better for my self. An unfortunate charecteristic I've inherited from my father. I cant tell you how frustating it is. Logically my thought pattern is encouraging "Just go for it" "everyone has to start somewhere" "you can do this"

Then the dark cloud of anxiety creeps in and so does the "ill do it later" "im not good enough or qualified enough"

The success storys come from thoose who take risks but I can never seem to take that leep.

Secondly,I dont have a clue where to start !

I have so many ideas and want to do so many different things. I can see my end goal but I dont know how to get my foot in the door. Heck I dont even know where the door is. This problem only fuels my anxiety.

People always say, dont reveal your weakness. "Fake it till you make it" and im sure that works for most. But for those of you who know exactly what im talking about I hope this blog shows you that you are not alone.

It would be amazing if down in the comments people could share there getting started storys. How they got to where they want to be in life and tips on how I could get started...with anything :)

I'd love to read all your storys

Much love 

X

On my Travels

Well you may of may not know depending on who you may be, that this 2014 i wanted to travel a lot more. Especially in my own little country, England

The first of February came around and i made my first little adventure out and the first place i wanted to visit was Brighton.

So yes me and some of my flat mates made the journey to Brighton and what a lovely place it is. I took plenty of photos and thought i would share some of them here with you.

                                                               

    Brighton has some beautiful graffiti....

 (street art, what ever you fancy calling it)

So yes i had a wonderful day in Brighton. Even if it was rainy and windy. Lucky one of my flat mates is from this area so we had are very own personal tour guide.

Not sure where im going to visit next. Im thinking maybe Dover.

Maybe Cambridge... any suggestions of beautiful places to visit ?

Leave me a comment if you fancy.

Much love 

x

moments of paradise

Ever needed to escape ? Just have a mental pause and find your bliss?

Yeah me too. 

Well ive found it. 

My place of monetary solitude,peace and relaxation.

Since being at uni ive found my self at a much higher stress level than ive ever been at before. Although my mum is only onthe other end of the phone sometimes I need that little bit more help coping and fo me that has been to take mental breaks.

It started out with a mid day snooze here and there but as the stress pilled on and I again was struggling to cope I found my mid day naps becoming 3hour sleeps. As much a I love sleep it was becoming a little impractical.I dont know if any of you have had a regual mid day 3 hour sleep sesh but if you have good luck going to sleep before 4 in the morning.

This is where ive started my new hobby. 

Taking my kindle,going for a walk to a cafe. Eat and drink in said cafe whilst reading my book for an obnoxiously long amount of time in conparison to how much food ive brought.

Now I know this isnt exactly a revolutionary idea and plenty of people find joy in doing this but jees am I glad that ive jumped on the band wagon. If im honest I had forgotten how much I loved reading till I went through 10 books in a month. The food part of this activity is always joyous awell.

So where am I right now ? You guessed it in a cafe looking out the window, eating and drinking. Taking a quick reading break to write this little blog post.

This is bliss, if only for a moment.

Go find yours.

Much love 

And its arrived !

Yes, its tue. I tell no lie.

2014 is finnaly here and by jove I am happy to see it.

So three days in to the new year what have I been doing ?

Shopping.

Mostly.

Shopping and eating.

Oh how very insprirational of me ( hope you detect the hint of sarcasum there)

Well my little bloggletts its okay because this years reolution was to be more happy and positive. Do what makes me smile and to not be so hard on myself,and im doing just that. 

Normally my reolutions include the whole weight loss vibe and yes I would like to loose some weight but the pressure of it makes me put on more weight. So ill just take it easy on the whole weight situation. 

Next week I have lots of visits with friends so ill try and take some pictures for you beautiful lot.

Keep smiling, much love.

Xxx

2014...?

    Well my little bloglets 2014 really is just around the corner now, and oh my hasnt my blog suffered some serioise neglect. 

Well 2014 im waiting for ya, cause I gots some big ideas for the year. Now I cant make any promises blogletos as lets just face it and be honest. Im lazy. However as cliche as it sounds I really do feel like its the start of a blank slate, and I really do want nore from this little space of the internet if mine. So all fingers crossed you will be seeing some more blogs from me. Things I need to iron out however... where do I want to take this blog? I feel it needs more of a direction. With direction comes focus and with focus comes inspiration. So stay tuned for that one.

Well as 2014 is lingering on our doorsteps,lets have a quick recap of 2013's highlights.

This year I turned the grand old age of 21 (which I belive is a milestone in most countrys) and I celebrated in style by taking my first ever trip on the london eye and only went to blooming Disneyland Paris.

Not only did i turn 21 this year but I also started my first year at university. ( I know im a late bloomer)

I took a trip to Alton Towers in April which I had always wanted to go to. 

I PMed my first show, cutesy of a good friend.

I flew for the first time on my own to Northern Ireland to visit a friend. 

I went to london with a bunch from uni and took a tour of the BBC studios.The same day, I sat in the audience for the Wright Stuff and got to meet Mark Wright. I remeber this day being particularly awesome as Mark answered loads of questions about the entertainment business for us (as did the rest of the crew) and how to get into it. 

I went to the Harry Potter Making tour. Which was brilliant btw.

Do you know,its so uplifting to look back at the highlights of the year. I think you forget just how much you actually do. I can only hope and work hard toward making 2014 even better.

Abd iI guess this shall be it for now my lovelies. 

Stay tuned and make 2014,

AMAZING.

Much love xxx

3:43 AM

So what do you do at 3:43 in the morning ?

Well sleep would be my first answer, but alas sleep alludes me.

So whats the next option?

Online shop and trawl the dark scary places of You Tube.

You know the places, the videos about people drinking nail varnish

and cray cray stuff like that.

I also tend to watch a million clips of old Ellen interviews :)

Man i love Ellen 

Well this is a very rambly blog post...

but it is 3:43 in the morning, what do you expect ?

cough*its now 3:57am* cough

What did i buy online you ask ? 

well, its only my mothers birthday next week.

So i brought her a lovely set of bed sheets.

Hay that's what she likes, so why not :)

but shhh dont tell her its meant to be a secret.

And whats the best way to keep a secret ?

Post it all over the internet :P

I also got a dictaphone since im off to start uni in only 

2 WEEKS !! ARRRGGGgghhhh

So i thought that was a good little thing to have for my lectures.

Anyways i best go my lovely's and try and get some sleep

Have a beautiful day,night whenever your reading this

Much love 

x